Stop Thinking, Start Doing!

I was never a straightforward person. Even to this day, I have mysteries, visions and stories hidden inside me; which, I believe, are better off hidden inside. But from the moment I lost a dear friend of mine, I lost myself.

I never used to express myself before now. I rarely told people what they meant to me. I hardly made them feel magical about themselves through my expressions. All this have changed. Drastically, I must say. I now keep on telling people (THOSE WHO DESERVE TO BE TOLD) that I love them and telling people they are wonderful humans and its an irony we don’t have many like them. I love saying, “You’re a good person,” and, “You brighten my day.” I live my life as straight-forward as possible. I live it by the day.Now, I love being straightforward. Well, not being a horrible one, because I have learned what to say and what not to say. And with experience, I have learned to weigh before I am forced to pay.

Because one day, I won’t be around to say anything.I could be walking down the street one day, laughing and smiling, observing the sidewalks and focusing so hard on my vivid thoughts that I don’t see a bus coming, or an open main-hole or a drunk truck driver. And, it might so happen, I sleep after posting this up and don’t get up to see who liked it and who didn’t. Anything is possible.I’d not want to leave behind someone who cared about me, listened to me and helped me through, with some confusing statements I made on text (or my social media) or with unattended thoughts of time spent with or with unanswered questions. (Exceptions exist!)I am no special here. I know how it is like to be mysterious. At one point or other- we all want to be mysterious! We all have our share of the secret “strawberry chocolate” pie. Because we all hate getting hurt. And the last thing anyone of us would want is to look desperate. I mean, why would you want to look desperate for someone or something. So, this feeling of losing oneself pushes us to make people wait when responding to texts, phone calls (Sorry!), emails, Facebook messages, Tweets, Blogs, Tumbles and so on. We decode our emotions in such a way, that its almost next to impossible for the other person to encode it. We don’t want it encoded, yet we want the other person to understand each and every gibberish we just sent. So basically, we say vague, half-baked statements and expect people to nosedive into our hearts!

But what if we don’t have a heartbeat left?

What if the last thing you ever said to that person was, “I don’t know!!” when all that person asked was “Is everything ok?!”, even though you really really wanted to speak your heart out to someone? What if you were head-over-heels with some beautiful human in your graduating class but you chose to wait before talking to that person, only to never get the chance to talk at all?

Just close your eyes and think about it for a moment. Scares the shit out of you, doesn’t it? It seems a bit weird and downright impossible to just be you— just to let people know how much you want them, need them, feel like, at this very moment, that you will die if you do not see them, hold them, touch them with your heart in their hands.Take it from someone who lost, stood up, only to lose again; just to stand up: There is nothing more beautiful than being desperate for what you want and nothing more risky than pretending not to care!!We all are humans (social animals? I doubt), young, bold and beautiful and are bound to make mistakes in our lives! A harsh reality: We are not in control of our lives as we think ourselves to be! We never know who’s looking for us, after us (human wise) and we’ll never know the magic that can arise between ourselves and other humans, until we try to create one.We never know when that bus is coming. We never know when that bell is going to ring. We never know when that chapter is going to close.

P.S. Stop thinking, Start DOING!

It is now or never.
Stop Thinking and Start Doing

You need to start now! There is no guarantee of a tomorrow! Now is the righttime!

A Conversation With a Prostitute

I am not sure what I was thinking when I stopped the car and signalled her to come and sit. I am sure I was never going to get laid. I was not in the mood to have sex with her and never wanted to trespass her dignity.

However,

I had a lot of questions buzzing in my mind about these street hookers. I thought to myself,

“Why not get the answer to them today from a Prostitute?”

This is by far one of the most haunting experiences I have had in my life.

Caution: The conversation is extremely profanic.

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Me: “Baithjao.”

Prostitute: “Kya karwayega? Double ya single? Double k charge bhi double hunge! Condom hai naa tere paas?”

Me: “Main ne toh sirf baithna ka bola hai. Pehle baithjao, traffic bahot hai. Phir decide karte hain kiya karna hai.”

She sits in the car and takes off her burqa. By the looks of it, she must be around 25 (+/- 3 years).

Prostitute: “Dekh launde..pehle hi batarahi hun. Kamra tera hi hoga. Mere ko yeh hotel wotel main nahin jaana hai. Wahan pange bahot hote hain.”

Me: “Theek hai. Aur kuch?”

Prostitute: “Aur condom achha waala hai naa? Wese sub chhor..maal toh hai naa ya kanjar hai?”

Me: “Jitna dena hai us se ziada hai.”

Prostitute: “Wah re! Kitna hai? Taangon k beech main bhi maal hai naa? Khara hota hai naa tera? Main choosungu nahin..pehle hi batarahi hun! Mun ki service nahin deti main phir chaahay tu meri gaandh hi kyun naa maarle.”

Me: “Sub kuch hai. Fikr mat karo, main aisa kuch nahin karunga.”

Prostitute: “Tu itna hi kam bolta hai ya teri parchi abhi pehli baar katrahi hai? Aur kahan le kar jaraha hai haraami? Aisa waisa kuch kiya naa toh teri hi gaandh maardungi main!”

By this time, we were in a posh locality that was not much crowded and it was easier to actually do what I wanted to do. I stopped the car.

Prostitute: “Haraaami!! Kamine! Gaari main hi karayga! Chal mujhe toh masla nahin hai! Kapre utaar k karayga ya aisay hi shru hona hai?”

I had actually heard enough.

Me: “Peechhle aadhe ghante se bolay jarahi ho..thakki nahin bol bol k?”

Prostitute: “Bol bol k? Abay kuss ke dhakkan..main din main chaar baar gaandh marwa k nahin thakti toh bol kar kese thakungi?”

She looked at me with a confused look.

Prostitute: “Mere ko lagta nahin k tujhe mujh main interest hai..sahi bolrahi hun naa main? Tujhe sirf apni muth nikaalni hai aur faarigh hona hai kyun k biwi se pakgaya hai!”

Me: “Main ne toh aisa kuch bhi nahin bola. Main ne toh sirf itna bola k baithjao. Baaki toh jitna bhi tha woh aap ne khud samajhliya”

Prostitute: “Abay dhandhe k time kyun barbaad kar raha hai bharwe! Jaldi nikaal apna khilona, condom charha aur karle jo karna hai tujhe!”

I took out the cash I was carrying – 10K specifically – and placed it in her hand.

Prostitute: “Itna saara? Oh bharwe…main gang bang nahin karungi aur gaandh bhi nahin marwati hun! Tera lund meri gaandh ko aggar touch bhi kiya naa toh kaat dungi!”

Me: “Har waqt aisay hi baat karti ho?”

Prostitute: “Kyun? Tu mera baap hai jo main tujhse tameez se baat karun? Wese hota bhi toh bhi nahin karti! Kanjar ne meri hi gaandh maar k mujhe hi baichdiya tha sirf 900 rupiyon k liye!”

And hence, we had a starting point!

Me: “Achha..ab thori dair k liye apna mun bandh kar k sunno jo main kehraha hun. Main apni biwi se bahot pyaar karta hun. Mere ghar main maa-behnen bhi hain..”

Prostitute: “Haan..toh us main kiya hai..maa-behnen sub k ghar main hoti hain..phir bhi thandak hum randiyon k paas hi milti hai!”

Me: “Chup! Bilkul chup!”

Prostitute: “Achha bhonk jo bhonkna hai!”

Me: “Mujhe tumhare saath kuch nahin karna. Naa sona hai, naa hi bistar garam karna hai. Mujhe sirf kuch sawaal puchhne hain..bas! Paise rakho! Paise tumhare waqt k hain.”

Prostitute: “Main haraam ki nahin khaati! Tu koi police waala toh nahin naa? Ya tv waala toh nahin naa?”

Me: “Aggar in main se koi hun, toh?”

Prostitute: “Nahin..tu ho nahin sakta. Woh pehle chhaati par zor se haath maarte hain..phir shalwar k andar ghussate hain haath..phir apna program record karte hain. Tere paas toh camera bhi nahin hai. Shaqal aur chaal se toh shareef lagta hai..karta kiya hai tu?”

Me: “Likhta hun. Lekhakh hun. Kitaab likhraha hun apni.”

Prostitute: “Randiyon pe? Kyun..wese kam zakhm hain zindagi main jo aur utaarne hain kaaghaz pe”

Me: “Nahin. Randiyon pe nahin likhraha. Insaanon par likhraha hun. Tum ne media k logon ka toh batadiya..police waalon k baaray main nahin bataya.”

Prostitute: “Un k baaray main batanay k laiq kuch hai hi nahin. Aatay hain, baalon se ghaseeth kar gaari main daalte hain. Neeche lita dete hain aur haraamzaade apne maa k lund andar daalte hain aur dande se maarte hain gaandh par. Kabhi toh dil karta hai in haraamiyon ki gun se in hi k lund par goli chaladun. Par jail nahin jaana. Jail chali gayi toh meri bachi ko kaun sambhalayga.”

Me: “Kitne bache hain?”

Prostitute: “Ek beti hai. Parh likh nahin sakti. Pata nahin kis k murda muth se paida hui thi.”

Me: “Arre..bachon k baare main aisa nahin bolo. Us ki toh galti bhi nahin bechaari ki”

Prostitute: “Toh meri kiya ghalti hai? Apni saheliyon k saath baag tak hi toh gayi khelne. Darr gayi thi…fail hogayi thi…maar se darr kar saheliyon k saath thi…Aisa toh kuch nahin kiya tha k mere baap ne mauqa dekh kar meri hi izzat chheen li. Main toh 12 saal ki bhi nahin thi.”

“Aur maa..jis k baaray main kehte hain..us k paun k neeche jannat hoti hai..mujhe meri maa dikh jaaye toh main us k paaun hi kaatdun!”

“Saali zaleel aurat mujhe bolti hai bardaasht karlo. Cream deti hai mujhe lagane k liye. Dawayi deti hai mujhe dard ki. Par jo dard dil main hota hai..us ki dawayi kahan se laun? Jo dard rooh tak ko jaladaita hai..us ki dawaayi kahan se laun?”

Me: “Maa-baap zinda hain?”

Prostitute: “Baap ka toh pata nahin. Maa hai zinda. Main ne kabhi puchha nahin apne baap k baaray main. Maa bolti toh hai k kisi gutter main gir k margaya tha. Baaki pata nahin..sach bolti hai ya jhoot.”

Me: “Maa se milti ho?”

Prostitute: “Haan..tere timepaas se faarigh ho kar maa k paas hi jaungi. Beemar rehti hai. Ziada bolti nahin ab. Bas dekh kar magarmachh k aansu bhar leti hai.”

Me: “Abhi thori dair pehle apni maa ko gaaliyaan derahi thi aur abhi lehja hi badalgaya..aisa kyun?”

Prostitute: “Haan..tujhe is se kiya..meri maa hai! Jo bhi bolun usay! Tu kon hota hai bolne waala mujhe kuch? Tere baap ka toh nahin khaati naa main!? Jo bhi khaati hun, mehnat kar k khaati hun. Halaal khaati hun!”

Me: “Halaal khaati ho?”

Prostitute: “Haan! Ab yeh mat bolna k jism baich kar khaati ho..zina karti ho..wehsha ho..sub randi rona hai.

Main jism baich kar khaati hun aur jo log bank main subeh shaam sood ginte hain..us ka kiya?

Jo tum jese baray log kamate ho aur aa kar hum jaisi randiyon par uraate ho..us ka kiya?

Jo nashe ka maal farogh karte hain, juay k adde chalate hain, sharaab k kaarkhaane chalate hain..in sub ka kiya? Yeh haraam hain! Sood ki toh wese bhi jang hai upar waale se!”

Me: “Upar waale se? Kaun upar waale se?”

Prostitute: “Wohi jo sub karta dharta hai is duniya ka..jis ne tujhe mere sir baandh diya..dard bana kar!”

Me: “Main sir main dard kar raha hun? Achha..kaun hai woh upar waala? Naam nahin us ka koi?”

Prostitute: “Hai..nahin le sakti. Teri gaandh main keera hai koi?”

Me: “Kyun nahin le sakti?”

Prostitute: “Kitni char char karta hai tu? Tu hai kon?”

Me: “Kyun nahin le sakti naam?”

Prostitute: “Dekh..faaltu main dimaag ki nahin baja..main shor machadungi!”

Me: “Naam..kyun nahin le sakti naam?”

Prostitute: “Kyun k main naa paak hun! Main randi hun! Main zina karti hun! Roz raat ko 1000 rupay main apni rooh baichti hun main! Nahin le sakti naam!”

By now, things have gone a bit astray. She was already in tears and I was lost for words. Someone of her stature was scared to take the name of the Creator of the universe, because she believed she does not deserve to take HIS name. I was lost for words. I tried to carry on though.

Me: “Achha..gussa mat karo. Ek aakhri sawaal..phir jahan bologi..wahan chhordunga. Zindagi se kiya chahti ho? Kabhi chaaha k is daldal se bahir niklo? Kabhi chaaha k rooh ko saaf karo?”

She looked at my face and kept on looking for a few minutes. It was one of the most awkward pauses I have had during a conversation. I could not stare away from her, neither could she look away. I could see the tears in her eyes. And her reply, her reply left me speechless.

Prostitute: “Mera baap denum (denim) ki factory main kaam karta tha. Achha khaasi gharaana tha hamara. Ek hi beti thi main. Yahaan aagay hi jaa kar 2 kamron ka flat tha hamara. Sub kuch bahot achha chalraha tha…mere 9th k result aane tak. Main paper main fail hogayi thi kyun k mera dil hi nahin lagta tha. Mera baap insaan achha tha..bas us main do aadatain buri thi: Sharaab aur gussa.

Main result le kar ghar aayi toh koi tha nahin. Main bag rakh kar apni sahelliyon k saath chali gayi. Kaafi time guzar gaya..main ghar nahin gayi waapis. Issi darr se k mera baap mujhe maarayga aggar jaungi toh. Aur kis mun se jaungi…

Main ese tese himmat kar k ghar gayi apne..intizaar kar rahay thay mera sub. Maa ne toh kuch naa bola aur gusse main andar chali gayi. Shayad us ko bhi nahin pata tha kya hona hai mere saath.

Mera baap saamne tha mere..nashe main dhut tha. Gusse se barha meri taraf aur mera haath ghaseet kar mujhe kamre main bandh kardiya. Main bolti rehgayi mujhe maaf kardo..ayenda parhungi. Par us k dimaag main aaj sirf hawas thi. Us ne apni hawas se mera jism choor choor kardiya aur rooh ko parwaan dedi. Main hil bhi naa saki. Subeh jab hui toh us ki aankh main fakhar tha aur meri saans main hichkiyaan thi. Phir raatain guzarti gayi aur hawas ki aag main…main jalti gayi.

Phir meri maa se nazar bacha kar mere baap ne mujhe ek bharwe ko baichdiya. Paisa chahiye tha sharaab k liye aur naukri jaa chuki thi.

Jab se paida hui thi tab se hi khatakti thi. Phir bhi haraami k liye main hi kaam aayi. Mera jism baich kar hi paise mile usse. Kehta tha aurat ka kaam sirf do hain: mard ki lund ki aas bhujaana aur roti pakana. Is main hi margaya..haraami!”

By now, I was lost for words.

“Aur kya..nikalne ki baat ki thi naa. Koshish kari thi nikalne ki. Par hamara network hi itna chhota hai k behnchodh jahan jao wahan ek randi ki nasal palrahi hoti hai. Chaiwaale se le kar government k baray afsar tak, hijre se le kar high-class aunty tak, sub k saath toh so chuki hun. Kahan jaungi? Izzat milaygi? Nahin. Koi naa koi takraajayega aur mujhe waapis issi daldal main dhakaildega. Toh kya zarurat hai. Khush hun. Chalraha hai. Do waqt ki roti kama leti hun. Bahot hai.”

“Arre..ek mast qissa batati hun. Ek daffa nikli is jhanjhat se toh kisi ne kaam lagwa kar diya. Nurse ka kaam tha. Kisi ki maa ki khidmat karni thi. Jab wahan pahunchi toh pata chala k yeh ghar mere ek customer ka tha. Mujhe toh masla nahin tha par shayad us haraami ko tha. Ek jhatke main hi nikaal diya us ne. Main waapis aagayi apni jageh par.”

Me: “Duniya waqayi bahot chhoti hai.”

Prostitute: “Haan..aur is duniya main rehne waalon k dil aur lund bhi…”

She laughed out loud. I couldn’t help but smile, because in her laughter, I could see the depth of pain she was hiding. I started the car and we didn’t utter a single word the whole way. She kept on crying and counting the money. She asked me to drop her at a distant from her place; she did not wanted people to see my face. I stopped the car and she looked at me and said:

Prostitute: “Aggar beti paida karo toh us ki tarbiyat achhi karna aur izzat se bara karna. Us ki izzat se naa khelna. Warna issi gutter main maray huay miloge aur koi uthaane waala nahin hoga.”

“Chalti hun. Shukriya tumhare time ka.”

I drove and didn’t look back. I couldn’t look back. I was ashamed of myself. Not as a person or as a gender, but as a human. I know I was not the culprit. I know I am not like her father. But, I am a human being. This society has given me a status. What am I supposed to do with that? Use it as a weapon of mass destruction? Squashing souls after souls and leaving bodies to rot? That is a question that every human needs to ask to themselves.

11 Rules To Help You Get Through Life

It’s not been too long since I have been around. I am not an overgrown, mature-retard who have had the “all-that-you-wish-for” life, heck, I am not even near to being a mature.

I believe age is a high price to pay for maturity. However, I think I have around for quite sometime now and I can sum up a few things I have learned about life so far. So, here goes nothing:

1. It’s Hard to Live With a Feeling You Have Learned to Live Without

Just because it’s over, doesn’t really mean that it’s the end of the road. But to bring that feeling back into your life, well, take it from me…OUCH!

2. Reminiscing the Good Times

There are no bad memories just like there are no good memories. Good or bad, they all leave a lasting impact on one’s life. Be thankful for every moment you get to live – I know I am!

3. Hiding Your True Feelings for a Better Purpose

Some say its in the genes, but I believe its nature not nurture. Or maybe, it’s just that I don’t want to lose what I already have. Simply put, I am scared.

4. Falling for Someone Whom You Know Has Already Fallen for Someone Else

Now this is a LOL moment. You know that time, when you don’t know whether to cry or smile…and you end up LOLing about it. I have had a few, in fact, I have had these quite a lot now.

5. Making a Commitment to Someone, Which You Know Is Not Going to Last for Long

We often offer more than we can really do. I know I do that, and if you’re not able to do it, believe me, it BITES!!

6. Becoming a Desperate. (Despo :-P)

You commit a lot of silly blunders when you’re hit with desperation. Whether, its personal or professional.

7. Caring for a Person Beyond Your Own Limits

I know expectations hurt and blah blah…but at the end of the day…at least you should be content with the fact, that you indeed were the right one.

8. Being in the Right Place at the Wrong Time

Ever entered the room of a newly married couple, without knocking on the door? Trust me, you wouldn’t want to do that. Bad manners.

9. Living a Life Based on Risk!

So what if it failed the last time, you never whats in store for you the next moment, right? So, go ahead and take the risk of falling in love again, driving beyond the mark and dancing till you’re down and out! But. sometimes, you need to put the brakes on…OH YOU REALLY NEED TO!!

10. Accepting That it Was Never Meant to be There at The First Place

It’s not bad to listen to you intuition once in a while and neither is it unlawful. But you’re being harsh on yourself, when you start ignoring it.

11. “What ifs” (Not the MS EXCEL command)

Just one of those torturous moments of life! It should be like Nike JUST DO IT!

Here Are The Actual Meanings of 9 Words Women Use

We all have certain vocabulary that we keep on hand for routine usage. However, there are certain words which women use more often that have a different meaning to what they actually mean when using.

1. “Fine.”

This is an alternative to end an argument. This is a clear signal that it is time for you to shut up and drive.

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2. “Five Minutes!”

If she is dressing up, this equates to half an hour for a normal get together. If you are watching something and she needs you; this equates to 2 minutes.

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3. “Nothing!”

A storm is coming your way. Hide. Run. Take cover. You are about to be crushed from head to toe – with words.

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4. “Go Ahead!”

This is a trap! Do not fall for this! I REPEAT – YOU DON’T HAVE THE PERMISSION TO DO IT!

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5. Loud *Sigh*

A non-verbal cue that is often misunderstood by men. A loud *sigh* means she has understood that you are an idiot and she is now wondering why is wasting her time in arguing with you about nothing. (Remember, nothing from point #3? – Yeeup..that is the one!)

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6. In a low voice – “It’s Okay”

This is one of the most dangerous statement to come out from a women’s mouth. If she says “It’s Okay” – it means she wants to keep you waiting and decide how she is going to make you pay for your mistake.

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7. “Thanks a lot”

A simple Thank You should do, why would she say Thanks a lot? Because you are a goof! She is being sarcastic and you are not supposed to say “you’re welcome” in reply, that would give rise to a never ending argument beginning with a “Whatever”.

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If you fell for the gif, you are a goof! The gif is only to make a cat gif the part of this post!

And this brings us to point #8

8. Whatever

Did you just hear her say “Whatever”? Run. Never come back. Don’t look back. All hell will break loose.

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9. Don’t worry about it, I got it

Yup! You are now trapped inside the emotional torture chamber. She asked you to do one little job – you failed miserably. It is consequence time. Oh..so you are thinking of saying “Sorry”? Awww…how sweet. Refer back to point #6 to know the rest of the story.

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YES, you still did not get the point!

It’s a fact, women are the most complicated creation of God! Extremely Complicated! However, they are the most beautiful creation as well. 

Smile Is A Women’s Best Makeup

dont-steal-women-smile

Doctor: Congratulations, its a girl!
Father: Oh…thank you.
Doctor: Huh? You’re a father now, why such a gloomy face?
Father: Because I wanted a…SON!

This isn’t something new in the third world countries. Sad, but yet, its true. Women are seen as a medium of satisfying one’s devilish needs! I am not going for any facts or figures here, because they are as twisted as the whole society is towards them. I am not going for any particular case/scenario here, because they are as crippled as the oppressed gender themselves are! All I am doing here, is venting out my feelings through a medium I know best!

To the Girl Who Was Raped

For me, you are stronger than those bastards can ever be. I cannot comprehend the pain you must have gone through, I know I would’ve died on the spot. The fact that you have the bravery to speak about it gives me hope and courage to move on from every obstacle life throws at me.

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To the Girl Being Buried Alive

I promise you, although I didn’t know you, you were beautiful, you deserved your life in good health. You deserved freedom from hell.

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To the Girl with an Alcoholic Father

I don’t want to sound sympathetic, but I really am so sorry for the agony you have to go through every night he comes home, like drunkard. Again, such courage is remarkable you must be such a strong person to bear such pain, with only a smile and no regrets.

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To the Girl Whose Parents Died

You can’t stop missing them. You can’t let the heart ache go away. But the love they had, the memories you shared surely must last. I can give you my word, the people who have taken the long walk back home and left you in this world are exceptionally proud of the kind of person you are.

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To the Ailing Mother Whose Son Left Her

Don’t worry, there will come a time when he will be a father himself. But I am quite sure, even in all your loneliness, you’ll pray only for his well being.

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To the Teased Girl at the Public Places

Don’t face things lying down, get up and fight! Tell them, you are the reason they have a life.

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To Every Other Women out There

Remember, you’re the full circle of life. Without you, no one can dream of having a family, a partner, a companion, a mother, a sister, a daughter or a housewife. Within you, is the power to create,  nurture and transform. Every time you’re pushed beyond your patience, yet you remain on top! Just go out and discover yourself, not anyone else.

Your moments, these secrets, are all precious even though they are sad. To all of you (including those I did not mention)

  • You are worthy of equality.
  • You are stronger than superman.
  • You are brave in whatever role you play.
  • And You are loved by THE ONE MIGHTY BEING.

Just remember, somebody, somewhere does care for you. Don’t loose hope, I know you won’t!

Just remember that it is a patriarchal idea that getting raped would ruin your community’s honor. No, your community’s honor does not lie with in your vagina. Even you won’t lose your honor. Who put your honor in your vagina? If anyone loses their honor when a woman is raped, it’s the rapist not the woman who is raped. It is the mother of the rapist.

A smile is the best make up any women can wear, and no man has the right to steal that!

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